I REMEMBER JENNY
And The Baby On Board Sign
I recently read an article in ‘Ann Landers’ in which a woman complained about all the “Baby On Board” signs. She posed the question, “Isn’t ALL life sacred – regardless of age?”
I say she’s got a point, but at the same time she’s missing the point, in my experience, that the sign is making.
Here’s an analogy: Back in biblical times, lepers were required to shout, “Unclean! Unclean!” when approaching habited areas, thus giving folks time to scoot. It was not only courteous…it limited the spread of the disease.
When you see me coming with my Jenny On Board, it would do well to pull far off the road, much the same as when am ambulance rushes by. Why? Here are some of the reasons:
My head has been used as a potty while driving.
Jenny has swallowed a small dispenser of dental floss while I was in four lanes of traffic.
I’ve had grape slush poured down my blouse with no warning on the interstate.
Jenny has many times shifted gears from forward to neutral and even to reverse in traffic.
“Haven’t you ever heard of car seats or seat belts,” you ask.
When pregnant with my wildest passenger, I read all the Safety Council’s brochures on testing of baby car seats. I saw that no expense was spared in getting the top of the line for her safety (interpreted, this means my mother-in-law bought it). Every seat in my car is equipped with car seats or booster seats, covered with colorful padding and playthings (which supposedly keep some kids occupied). My tape deck plays Mother Goose and Agapeland. I furnish animal crackers and thermoses of cold juices.
I guess they’re all for me; she’s simply not amused.
My friends used to call her Houdini for her insatiable desire to escape from any baby swing, highchair or car seat. No matter how high or how tightly strapped, “Start the clock, Mom,” she’d gurgle while her peers gummed their crackers. To this day, two and a half minutes in the record for her playpen!
Now before you advise me of my responsibility to correct negative behavior, if persistent and repetitive, by corporal punishment appropriate to child’s age, let me explain I sometimes make my twenty-five minute drive from church stretches to three times that amount in order to constantly pull over, spank her, and put her back into the seat. The above are instances which I foolishly had my mind on traffic and didn’t notice her right away.
So to the lady who correctly pointed out that the life of the elderly needs to be valued as highly as a baby’s, and to Ann, who agreed: Pull over…Baby On Board!