STAY AT HOME MOMS

Today, everyone is so in tune with SELF realization, SELF fulfillment.  Staying home is an unselfish act.  It is rewarding to have a career – people thank you, promote you, notice you, pay you.  Staying home, you get spills to wipe, complaints, fights to settle, dirt to combat, bills to juggle and no toddler will ever rise up and call you blessed.

In this article, I have suggested several ways to look well after your household.  These are ways you can make each of your husband’s dollars stretch into two or three dollars.  These are things you won’t have time to do if you work out of your home, but they can be done at home and will help you make more money than you could at virtually any career.  And you’ll do it all surrounded by your adoring kids.  You’ll be fresh and happy to greet a tired husband at the end of the day (And two tired, unfresh career people at the end of a day can kill a romance.)

If you doubt my mathematics in the above paragraph, I challenge you working moms to keep a ledger only a month of what it actually costs you to work outside the home.  In it include:  child care, child care expenses (snacks, lunch, clothing, keep-up-with-the-other-kids-toys/books/clothes/records, travel time and mileage to and from the center – usually .45/mile), your wardrobe (include panty hose, hair expenses, make-up, shores, jewelry – nice to have but you won’t need these at home.  Your kids will love you in anything.  Keep-up of a car (include insurance, payments, the works – you don’t need one at home and the kids are worth the sacrifice), lunch out, any meals out (at home you can prepare healthy, delicious meals and you can even send hubby’s lunch each day.  Office parties/gifts, additional costs at the grocers of ready-made foods that would be prepared from scratch at home at a third of the cost, gifts for birthday/Christmas that could be lovingly hand-made if you had the time to learn, those I-owe-it-to-myself extras (spa memberships, vacations, manicures, etc.) and any others you personally have.  Don’t leave out the extra expenses of the colds and flu they are sure to catch passed on by any and all the other children at the center.  Include your pediatrician bills, their medication and your own medical expenses since you will pick up their colds.  Many have found to their dismay they are paying for the privilege of working!

Now I can hear some of you saying, “I could never give up these things.”  But what that frankly translates into is, “I will give up my kids first.”

The Grocery Store

Many American families spend as much at the grocery store as they do on housing…some even more!  I’ve found the following ways to cut my expenditure by more than thirty percent.

CLOTH DIAPERS:  Yes, it is yuckier.  But not as gruesome as giving up a child to Day Care (for the child anyway).  When my two were both in diapers, I saved $80.00 per month this way.  Remind yourself of that at each change.  Yes, it’s work to wash them but if you have two who are both in diapers for two and a half years (an average), you’ve earned a total of $2,400.00!!  And really, once you get used to it, you don’t think about it. There are advantages too.  When you buy diapers, they take up all the room in your grocery cart.  After their use, they are heavy to lug out for garbage collection, And believe me, with that smell collecting you are always counting the days till garbage pick-up.  Your pediatrician probably has brochures about how to soak and wash them.

BABY FOOD:  I saved over $26.00 weekly by making my own.  Your local library should have “how-to” books and your pediatrician can tell you at what age your baby should begin each new food type.  And, of course, nursing saves you to the cost of buying formula (as well as having many other advantages).  I’d like to give you some examples of what worked for me.

Basically, I could throw anything nutritious into my blender along with a suitable liquid and feed this to my baby in a bottle with an enlarged hole in the nipple.  Many books advise feeding with a spoon but this took at least an hour and a half out of my day.  Their reason for spoon feeding was that it would help them learn to feed themselves earlier with spoons.  I didn’t personally find this to be a problem as I always provided finger foods such as pieces of whole wheat bread and bananas along with a supply of baby utensils to play with both at family meal time and while playing.

When my baby was old enough for cereal, I threw it in with either juice, milk, formula or water into the blender.  Later on, we added (one at a time) fruit, yogurt, egg yoke, cottage cheese.  Below is my recipe which my children enjoyed by the pint and thrived on (supplemented with cheese and saltless wheat crackers) and other table food when they were ready for it.

Yucky Stuff – 1 cup precooked cereal, 1 cup fruit, 1 cup mashed fruit, 1 cup yogurt, ½ cup cottage cheese plus suitable liquid.  Throw this in blender and puree until not too lumpy.

To make your bottle’s nipples enlarged, carefully cut a cris-cross through the tip.  If you just make a bigger hole, this can spill onto carpets, etc.  With a cris-cross, your baby can turn it upside down with no drip but when depressed (by mouth) quiet a large opening develops, allowing chunks of food).  Begin a younger child on more liquid and puree till completely smooth; gradually puree less as they gain chewing skills.

If you don’t have all the ingredients, just throw in some of them.  Many times we only had formula, cereal and fruit yogurt but it was eaten with obvious relish.  Again be very cautious when introducing a new food.  You should wait until the child is ready.  Your pediatrician probably has brochures and there are articles in parenting periodicals.  Just be sure they are relatively newly published as the older ones advise introduction of foods much too early.

MEAL PLANNING:  You will be amazed at how much you will save and how little waste you will have by ‘planning your work and working your plan”.  This is great too for forcing yourself to stick to a diet and good for eliminating too many snacks.  Try to plan one complete month and only set your foot into the grocery store twice monthly.  Plan all three meals and don’t forget reasonable snacks if they are part of your day.  Include beverages, cleaning products, paper products and anything that you purchase at the food store.  Then take an oath not to  put even one item into your basket which is not on the list.

Next check the amounts needed for the meals referring to each recipe to double check your cupboard to evaluate what you already have.  The final list should only include what you will need till the next scheduled trip to the store.

It will help if you categorize this list so you can quickly find your products.  My categories are:  paper products, fresh produce, toiletries and medications, cleaning needs, frozen, dairy, meat, bread and miscellaneous.  I list under each category what is needed and can breeze through this list quickly – even with kids along.  Give them coupons to look at and let them help find the product by matching the pictures.  Listing these by aisle number is another good idea.

COUPONS:  There are many good books on coupon, but I’ll tell you how I save 15-17% on my grocery budget with only a few minutes a week invested.  I clip coupons and have an expanding file with the same categories I used in the last topic:  paper products, cleaners, etc.  When things come in the mail or the Sunday paper, I just throw them into a special holder in my closet till I have ten minutes or so to clip and file them.  After my menu is planned and the grocery list in order, I match up coupons and extend the grocery list to include which brand I’ll be getting.  Then the coupons go into an envelop along with the list.

MISCELLANEOUS:  It will usually save you some money if you can find a friend to leave the kids with.  You can do the same for her by keeping hers when she shops.  Otherwise you may buy more snacks or a “surprise” in exchange for good behavior.  Kids will enjoy the playtime over the surgery snack anyhow.  And remember you are not depriving your family by not getting “goodies”.  You’re doing them a great service in decreasing the possibilities of teenage acne and trips to the dentist, not to mention your own waist measurement.

Many ordinary purchases can be eliminate or decreased.  We use cloth napkins.  You can make them from old curtains or clothing.  Use a plastic garbage bag to line your kitchen garbage can and then put a grocery sack in that.  Most times you can just take the full grocery sack out.  Then maybe once or twice a month you will have to dispose of the whole thing.  This is a good savings and the less plastic we use the better for our environment.  Wet towelettes for diaper changes are convenient but wash clothes are free.  You can come up with other ideas by looking at your grocery receipts.  And read “Hints from Heloise”.

Do what the major corporations do and implement an incentive program for being under budget.  Mine is:  $5.00 under budgeted amount = one Pepsi at MacDonalds (with two courtesy cups for the kids to share it).  $10.00 under = one large fries to share.  $20.00 = we add Chicken MacNuggets onto the list.  $25.00 = a trip to the zoo.  $30.00 and my husband takes me out to dinner!  Make sure the budget is low enough to where it requires serious effort to be at all under.  My husband deposits only the grocery budget into the checking account so it isn’t possible to be over.  Having to put items back has embarrassed me into being awfully exact.  Keep old cash register receipts to check prices of items on your list.

EATING OUT:

Dates:  You and your husband should work at having a date now that your time alone is almost non-existent.  Find another couple and agree on swapping kids for a few hours on a pre-arranged night for free sitting services.  It helps if the kids play well together.

The most romantic place you can go is free:  your own house.  But both must commit to only having eyes for each other.  No TV, no housework, save those dishes.  Wives can have something special precooked.  Send the husband over to deliver the kids.  While he’s away, put on soft music, candlelight and your most romantic and sexy outfit…or even a special nightie.   Have something specific to talk about.  You can make up a list to stick to and don’t use this precious time for differences.  Compliment each other.  Give back rubs, take a bubble bath, dance and just enjoy being alone together for this time.

Being a stay at home mom allows you to take trips to the Farmer’s Market to do buying in quantities.  You may want to form or join a co-op with others on a budget to buy in large enough quantities to save significantly.  Or if you have a freezer you can get good resources from the library on how to preserve fruits and vegetables long term.  Meats too can be bought from farms, breads directly from bakeries on certain days, etc.  Remember we are looking for ways to look well to the ways of our homes and by doing this we’ll earn more than practically any job out of the house.

KEEP THE PEACE:  If you have several recipe books on hand, give them to your husband and have hm put stars by the ones he’d like for you to make  Also he can X out the ones he never wants to see on the table.  Each week, I try to pick up a different cookbook at the library and if my husband wants to he can make a list of page number he’d like to eat.

Also, after making up your menu plan for the month, present it to your husband for any alterations, deletions or additions he may see fit.  With that, you are ready to make up the grocery list from the ingredients.  Have him review the grocery list and sign to approve it.  When you return home from the store, present him with the receipt (most stores now list not only prices, but names of items as well) to confirm you bought what he approved and only that.  Many husbands won’t want to be bothered but you may want him to know you are willing to show what the grocery dollars are doing.  If you have made up your grocery list by aisle, it is ready to remove items and place them onto the counter so that comparing the signed list to the register slip is simple and fast.

Proverbs 7:11 Describes a woman whose feet did not abide in her house.  It called her “loud and stubborn”.  Verse 12 goes on telling of her:  “Now is she without, now in the streets.”  The last verse, 27, tells her future:  “Her house is the way to hell, going down to the chamber of death.”  Pretty good motivation for staying at home.

One way to conserve on your time is to use lists so that you can see just what has been accomplished and not get too harried trying to do everything at once.  I have my computer setup so that every morning I type in the day of the week, the month and the date.  From my printer is a copy listed by priority of precisely what must be done that day.

Many duties must be done daily, such as dishes, bath, bible reading and straightening the house.  Others will only print out once a week.  I even put when to file my nails and it always reminds me when to take out the garbage.  Other duties are only monthly, such as cleaning the oven.  But it really keeps you on the track all day.  The only danger is in overdoing and no leaving enough for the inevitable interruptions you’ll have with small children.  So schedule loads of activities for them jointly and individually in between each task.  You’ll only have them full-time a few precious years.

One last money saver is to become familiar with your library.  Ours offers great store hours weekly for preschoolers as well as loads of parties for all occasions, games, puppet shows, animals to pet, clowns and more.  Just get on the mailing list and be there for the special events.  They are all free.  And by all means, check out books for yourself and your children while you’re there.  I am an avid reader but can’t buy a lot of books.  If they don’t have the one I want, they can usually borrow it from another library.  We don’t limit ourselves to books either.  They have records for all ages, tapes, videos, puppets, games, puzzles, boys, blocks and even movie projectors to loan!  The movies are a smash at birthday parties  Who says staying home means nothing to do?  I doubt if there is a nursery school in the country with as much going on as we have.  And this kind of activity attracts all the kids in the neighborhood.  My kids are quiet popular and surrounded with ready playmates because they have a ball here.  Go ahead and schedule these activities in your list when you plan your month.

Finally, regarding additional man-power, with so many long-distance grandparents, there are probably some elderly people you should get to know.  Older people are great with kids.  They love visits and your children would benefit from this kind of friendship.  Many older women knit, crochet or embroider beautifully and would be flattered to teach you.  Hand-made Christmas gifts and baby items are so much more valuable and cherished over store bought items and usually can be made for pennies.

I am sure you will come up with even more ideas to keep Mama in the home with her babies!